Dealing with a Stalker a real Omagh story

Flowers delivered , love notes in the post , expensive gifts being left at the door in the middle of the night , all sounds very romantic , doesn’t it? And it would be if it was from someone who you had a relationship with.

But when this behaviour comes from someone you barely know and all of a sudden they seem to be everywhere you go , it all becomes very scary!

For the first few months I thought it was my own paranoia , he lives near me so of course he will be in the same shop , chippy , petrol station , out walking ( all the time ) but I never noticed him before. Then the texts started. It wasn’t until I stopped responding to the constant and extremely lengthy texts (after I had told him I was in a relationship ) that things began to change. Texts went from romantic intentions to rants about being rejected. If I was in town I would return to the car to find items placed under the wiper to let me know he was there. On a few occasions he had parked right behind my car and stayed there so he could speak to me on my return. One morning he actually arrived at my house with scones for tea. The thought of him on my property in the middle of the night while myself and my boys slept sickened me , we would waken to “presents” on the doorstep. It got to the stage where I wouldn’t go out of the house unless it was necessary , I changed my routine and I wasn’t sleeping.

It wasn’t until an incident at the local shop where the girl at the till had to hide me in the office as I was so scared after he followed me , that I thought “I’ve had enough” ! I made a statement to the police and listed all the gifts , notes , occasions of being followed etc. they arrested him and questioned him about his behaviour. He told the police man that he didn’t want our “relationship” to end and that he knew when I was in the house on my own. He was warned to stay away and not to make any contact.

To say that this experience has changed me is an understatement. I don’t reply to texts from strange numbers , I don’t answer private numbers , I never accept “friend requests” from anyone that I wouldn’t stop to have a chat with on the street and I always lock my doors , even when I’m in the car.

Stalkers aren’t necessarily strangers , they can be your ex, your neighbour, a person of high standing in the community, your best friend. If you feel like someone is giving you unwanted attention, keep a diary, let someone know of your fears so they can be aware of this persons comings and goings, don’t engage with any conversations with your stalker as they see any communication as good and most importantly, inform the police, even if it’s just to make them aware of the situation.

Keep yourself safe at all times.